I believe the most important quality distinguishing a truly successful comedian from those simply trying to be funny is their power of observation, their ability to hold a mirror up to society. And what we see in that mirror isn’t always meant to be pleasant. In my view, that is precisely what happened to the famous Turkish comedian Cem Yılmaz.

During one of his stand-up shows, referring to tabloid journalists who labeled his younger partner a “spring chicken” (using the Turkish slang term çıtır, literally meaning "crispy" or "freshly baked," typically used to describe young, firm, and attractive women), he remarked: “What spring chicken? She’s 38—she’s practically dying!” Naturally, he faced a fierce backlash from women. Most of us, myself included, got caught up in the immediate sting of his sharp delivery and missed the opportunity to discuss the far more critical core of the issue.

By placing an age limit on what qualifies a woman as a "spring chicken," Yılmaz wounded women above that threshold. But what should have been questioned instead was whether being a spring chicken is the sole condition that makes a woman desirable. Although Yılmaz was somewhat declaring his own stance by pointing out that his partner could no longer be considered one, his nuance was completely drowned out by the noise, given that public lynching is practically a national sport.

Gravity, Maturity, and the 20s Illusion

Let us first address why the term provoked such a strong reaction. What I understand by being a "spring chicken" is the physical appearance and firm vitality of one's 20s. Unfortunately, life operates on a strict principle of give-and-take. Just as a woman finally reaches emotional maturity, recognizes her worth, and understands how to leverage her charm, her body enters a quiet duel with gravity. Therefore, if there is a point where I find Cem Yılmaz to be correct, it is that 38 can hardly be defined as a "spring chicken."

That said, today—through regular exercise, nutritional supplements, and, when necessary, cosmetic procedures—women can maintain a youthful appearance, provided they wish to and have the financial means to do so. We frequently witness world-renowned female artists who look even more captivating today than they did in their 20s.

Yet these women make no claim to being spring chickens. They are simply bringing the best versions of themselves to life. They certainly take meticulous care of their physical selves, but what they project outward is equally a reflection of the inner balance, happiness, and self-assurance they have cultivated.

Truth be told, setting aside a desire for youthful skin elasticity, I don't know a single woman who would voluntarily return to her 20s—to that era of insecurity, unformed style, and self-doubt. That is why I believe what truly stung in Cem Yılmaz’s comment wasn’t the emphasis on youthfulness, but rather his declaration that women aged 38 and older are "dying"—implying their shelf life has expired. The subtext of his phrasing suggests that women who aren't spring chickens will simply never be chosen.

Reversing the Dating Formula

But is that really the case?

Paul C. Brunson—Relationship Coach and Head of Global Insights at Tinder, one of the world's largest dating platforms—notes that middle-aged and older men generally hold an advantage over women of the same age in the dating field. While women typically seek partners who are a few years older, the age range men look for often aligns with the classic formula: half your age plus seven. Thus, a 50-year-old man can seamlessly match with a 32-year-old woman, and society finds this age gap entirely acceptable.

However, Brunson also acknowledges the rise of the "reverse age gap" trend in recent years, where older women pair with younger men. In these dynamics, maintaining a youthful appearance certainly gives middle-aged and older women a distinct advantage. Yet according to Brunson, youthfulness is also an attitude and a zest for life. When combined with a woman's emotional maturity, intimacy experience, and financial independence, it makes her highly attractive to a younger partner seeking balance and confidence in a relationship. Whether this trend will evolve into long-term commitment remains to be seen, but it has begun shattering entrenched stereotypes about women's "expiration dates." Hollywood’s recent embrace of stories depicting age asymmetry in favor of women is perhaps a cultural reflection of this shift.

Double Standards and Unfulfilled Expectations

In truth, there is nothing unusual about desiring the touch of young, firm skin; this desire applies equally to both genders. But let us face it: life is not fair. The aging process is vastly less forgiving for women than it is for men. While women labor to meet imposed beauty standards to stay fit and polished, the physical changes brought on by age in men are often generously rebranded as "charisma."

Consequently, if a man is reasonably attractive and possesses the financial means, he can easily secure a younger partner—and often receives approving nods from other men for "snagging a spring chicken." How many of these relationships are enduring, or how many are "purely transactional," is another story altogether.

Regarding unfulfilled expectations, there is a passage I deeply love in Gabriel García Márquez’s Memories of My Melancholy Whores. For those who haven't read it, the novel tells the story of an old man who decides to gift himself a night of love with a young virgin on his 90th birthday. To convince the young girl to share a bed with him, the brothel owner druggingly puts her to sleep. Every night they meet, the man simply watches the sleeping girl, singing praises to her beauty. One morning, wishing to get to know her better, he tries to talk to her upon waking, only to find her speech utterly vulgar. He then quietly admits to himself that he preferred her while she was asleep.

Beyond the Gift Wrapping

All of which is to say: physical appearance can only hold one's attention for as long as the gift wrapping does. If the package itself is empty, both sides will eventually look elsewhere.

From this perspective, not being a spring chicken is neither a shame nor a loss for women. As long as the life energy within us continues to flow abundantly, and we remain our own center of gravity, it will inevitably radiate outward as love and light.